


Begin Again

by karlo1469



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (before the beginning of the story), Alternate Universe, Depression, F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, Mental Institutions, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Minor Character Death, Therapy, getting better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-12 13:57:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21477496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karlo1469/pseuds/karlo1469
Summary: After the recent death of his boyfriend Castiel Novak falls into a severe depression. His family decides to have him admitted to a mental institution where he's greeted by an eccentric woman. Despite the fact that he still has trouble even speaking the name of his late boyfriend aloud he finds himself drawn to this woman and her unusual ways of making him feel better.
Relationships: Castiel/Meg Masters, Former Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: Megstiel Big Bang 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! This was written for the Megstiel bigbang (as a minibang) and I hope you all enjoy it :)  
I collaborated with dmsilvisart and you can find the art created [right here](https://dmsilvisart.tumblr.com/post/189170189268/my-art-for-megstielbigbang-with-karlo-who-i).

They had been as close as you could possible be, had even talked about getting married in the near future, seeing as they had been together for six years, four of them lived together under the same roof, but now that was all in the past.

When Castiel had first gotten the call from the precinct last week he had simply been afraid that Dean had done something dumb and gotten himself arrested. Whenever he was out drinking with his buddy Benny he never could control himself, and they always ended up breaking stuff in bars or one time they even graffitied some stupid poem on the church wall.

The call was more dreadful than what he had imagined, though. He was urged to come down to the police station right away to identify the body of who they were pretty sure was Dean Winchester, his boyfriend.

From the moment he picked up the phone until he entered through the doors to the morgue, his heart had been beating rapidly. He could feel it all the way up in his throat and also the way it dropped to the bottom of his stomach the moment he laid eyes on the body in front of him. There was no doubt on his face that they had mistaken the identity of the body.

While covering him back up the assistent and the policeman both gave their condolences. Castiel was too numb to even pay much attention to everything else he was told thereafter, but he did grasp the fact that it had been a robbery and that Benny had also been injured, though not as severely. He could be found at the hospital they told him, and Castiel just nodded, as if in a haze. He gave the information for Dean’s parents and his one sibling, thinking that is was best they heard it from the professional, who could tell them every detail they knew, instead of a stunned, half-understanding boyfriend.

Castiel knew they would call him as soon as they heard, as was very normal for their family to always group-call everyone to make sure they were alright. 

Castiel supposed he should call his family too and let them know the news, especially since he and Dean had been planning to come there in just a few weeks time.

Since the news Castiel had taken two weeks off from work. He was only a nurse assistant, but he had been thinking about actually applying to nursing school. With Dean it had seemed like a possibility, but now it felt like a far-fetched dream.

Dean’s family were the ones taking care of the funeral. They wanted to bury him back in Kansas where he was born and raised, which was also where the two of them met all those years ago. Dean’s brother picked Cas up on his way from California where he lived, since Cas had never gotten his driver’s license. Not that he would have been allowed to drive Dean’s darling car anyways, which was currently sitting in their garage with no plan for it whatsoever.

The funeral went smoothly and there had not been a dry eye in the chapel. Both Benny and Mary, Dean’s mom, promised they would swing by Cas in the following week. It must have been clear to see that he wasn’t handling it very well. They allowed Cas to take anything he wanted from the boxes they had with Dean’s childhood things, but he kindly refused. The Dean he had known was back in his own apartment after all and the memories here were the past that Castiel only knew through stories and pictures. He didn’t care much for that.

After a lot of hugs and kisses he was dropped off back home to an apartment that felt much too empty and food that had already expired.

Despite an early drop-in by Anna, Castiel’s sister, he didn’t much see anyone nor venture out of the door in the weeks following Dean’s death. He had taken a leave of absence from work, uncertain of when he would finally feel ready to return and care for patients.

Anna made him dinner and through some persistence got him to shower. He didn’t really want to leave the house, afraid that it would burn down while he was gone and he would lose every single one of Dean’s things. He knew he was being irrational and that’s why he at last conceded to going for a walk with his sister. She was spry, trying needlessly to cheer him up and pointing out the beautiful flowers still alive despite the chilly weather. Castiel didn’t feel much like being entertained, but did the best he could to appease his sister.

After Anna left he buried himself under the duvet that still smelled a bit like Dean and cried himself to sleep, despite it being around 6 p.m.

Benny brought dinner four days later, but left a few hours later with a concerned look on his face. He had been mostly Dean’s friend, but it was clear to see that he cared for Castiel too, seeing as they had known each other for just as long.

In the end Mary never got to visit him before his family decided an intervention was due. Anna and their mother had tried fruitlessly to get him to leave his apartment for days now, but when it became evident that he was barely leaving his bed and only eating just enough to keep himself alive they knew that they needed to do something. None of them had the time to care for him constantly and they were also aware that Castiel didn’t want to be taken care of. Despite him being down in the dumps he was also a stubborn ass who couldn’t realize when he was wrong. 

Anna had never seen her brother this depressed and it scared her so much that she was the one to suggest admitting him to a mental hospital. She was afraid that if they let this go by he would end up trying to take his own life or maybe even starving himself to death by just laying around. They were scared and so they wrote him up for a psychic evaluation, so the professional caretakers could determine whether or not he was a danger to himself if he continued being holed up in that apartment.

Anna kept glancing at him in the rearview mirror on the way to the mental institution. Castiel wasn’t fighting it, he had barely uttered a word since they came to pick him up, and it just made Anna even more concerned about the state of his mind.

After parking the car and leading Castiel into the lobby, they decided to leave him to it and went for a coffee, promising to come in an hour.

Not long went by before a woman called his name.

“Castiel,” she said, as he ventured over towards where she stood. Her voice sounded like honey, but there was something sharp about her features that contradicted how sweet she sounded. “I’m Meg, I’ll be your counselor today.” She shook his hand, a wide smile stretched across her face.

They seated themselves in a brightly lit room, and Meg took a clipboard into her hands, where she crossed off the answers to some of the basic questions she asked Castiel.

“A loved one died and you spiralled,” she began, piercing Castiel with such an intense look he had to look away. He was fidgeting with his sleeves, nervous and unwilling to talk about Dean yet. “I know a little from what your family has told me and it sounds as though you don’t really know how to cope with your loss. It might help to talk about it.”

He didn’t feel much like talking, hadn’t really used his voice in a few weeks now, but being with a stranger, who was used to dealing with these sort of problems, in what already felt like a safe environment, he didn’t have a problem talking.

“You look a little malnourished,” She said, about halfway into the appointment, giving him the sort of elevator look you would expect predatory men to give to women. “How are your eating habits?”

“It wasn’t…. I’m not used to cooking,” he said as he tried to search for the right words. Before he had moved in with Dean he had basically lived off of take-out and frozen pizzas. It hadn’t been Cas’ job to make sure they had groceries to make a meal, because he just simply had never learned how.

“You’re too lazy?” She asked, a little snarkily. She was starting to irritate him a bit, but in a way that made him feel like he needed to defend himself and voice his opinion, if only to correct the way she was assuming things about him that wasn’t right.

“I’m not  _ lazy, _ ” he defended.

“You spend all day in bed, but you’re not lazy?” she asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

At this Castiel leaned all the way back on the couch, huffing as he turned his head away from her. What was he supposed to say? That he didn’t feel like he had a reason to get up in the morning anymore if Dean wasn’t there? That there was no point in doing anything if Dean wouldn’t be coming home? He didn’t want to stay in this place, just wanted to go back home while there was still a bit of Dean left in the apartment.

Their session ended fairly quick, because after Meg throwing question after question at him and Cas avoiding answering her, mostly because he was just at a loss for words, she decided that they had talked enough.

“You haven’t taken the time to process this, Castiel. It sounds like you’ve pushed it down and that’s not a healthy way of coping.” She concluded their interview by standing up to walk over towards the door. With one hand on the handle she continued, “I think you should stay here for a few weeks. We have excellent grief counsellors and self-help methods that I think you could really benefit from. I’ll go write you in and let your family take you home to pack a few essentials, but I expect you back by the evening.”


	2. Chapter 2

It was a very disgruntled Cas they got back a few hours later. His mom and sister said goodbye to him in the parking lot, hugging him and promising him that they would be there to pick him up again, saying that this was for the best and it would help to make him feel better. 

The receptionist showed Cas to a room with a single bed, a big wardrobe and a desk and chair. It was bigger than he would have expected and had a giant window positioned above the bed, which overlooked a garden filled with greeneries.

“Here’s a time table for the next two weeks. Meg will be you counselor and supervisor, so if you need anything or have any questions her office is just outside of the dining room,” the older lady explained to him.

“Wasn’t it her office I was in earlier?” Castiel questioned, taking the time table from her hands.

“No, that was just our consultation room. We like to give our patients a structured routine and we don’t always have that room available, so our counselors have their own offices. The sitting room is just down the hall to the left and as you can see dinner will be served in just under an hour,” she indicated the slip of paper in his hands and turned around to exit through the door. “I hope you enjoy your stay.”

Castiel looked down at his timetable, noticing how much free time he had. There were four meals a day, all of them obligatory, but a little note under the times stated that you could come and go as you pleased, a supervisor just had to cross you off on their list to check that you had been there to eat something. He had a meeting everyday at 4 pm with Meg, and something called “Artistic Class” at noon, but that was really the only thing on there. At the bottom of the paper it said that the garden would be open from 10 am until 8 pm every day and at that there was optional movie nights every night.

He put the paper down on his desk, first noting now that there was already something on it. There was a notebook with a pen and a note on top of it which read; “This is for writing a daily journal entry, which will be your own private haven, but that you can look at to help you discuss your feelings in our daily meetings _-_ _Meg_”

Castiel unpacked the few things he had brought with him and then ended up venturing outside of his room to the sitting room. There were four very comfy looking sofas and the walls were lined with bookcases, yet not one single book was strewn across the room. Cas didn’t know who else were living in these facilities, or if they were all capable of taking care of themselves and cleaning up after themselves, but by the looks of how much freedom he had himself he guessed that was the case.

There were multiple games on one of the shelves, most of them chess from what he could see. Castiel ended up reading a book for most of the evening, only stopping to eat a small bowl of the vegetable soup they offered today, and then went directly back to his room, taking the book with him to finish it the next day. The room had a small alarm clock already set for 8 am, so he didn’t have to think about anything else than brushing his teeth before going to bed.

After waking up and grabbing a slice of bread from the buffet in the dining room, Castiel sat down in front of the journal he had been given. He wasn’t sure how to start, so he wrote about how it had felt saying goodbye to his sister for an undetermined period of time, putting his stuff away in an unfamiliar place and meeting his counselor. Since there wasn’t really anything else to do here he finished his book and then wandered out to explore the garden.

It was giant, with big trees off to each side and a fountain further along right in the middle on a grass patch. There were walkways that led all around the place, with grass beds filled with colorful flowers beside them. The place was amazing and Cas immediately felt right at home, all of the tension draining from his body from the lull of the birds and the aroma of the flowers.

He took a long walk, admiring everything he saw on his path, when he spotted Meg in the shade of a big tree with an easel situated in front of her. He didn’t know if it would be appropriate to approach her, but since she had multiple brushes and paint in front of her and looked lost in thought, he thought better of it and continued down. He was surprised, seeing as he had thought the counselors would have a full schedule, but maybe there was a lot of counselors or she just didn’t have many patients to talk to.

He ended up going back into the sitting room, where he swapped his read book out with something new and would have missed the beginning of his Artistic Class, if it had not been for the small bell that rang out signaling that lunch would be served now. He ate an apple and downed a glass of water, earning a smile and a nod from the receptionist, who was the supervisor for the meals today.

He didn’t have trouble finding the room, as all of the big rooms were all placed right next to each other and there was a big sign outside that said “Artistic Freedom happens here!” with a pink flower on it. It seemed a little overkill, he thought, and almost reminded him of something that would be present in a kindergarten.

He entered to find Meg, once again, in front of an easel with a paintbrush in her hand. The few other people in the room were chatting amongst themselves or setting up various supplies on the tables.

“Castiel!” Meg exclaimed when she laid eyes on him. “Good to see you again. You can take a seat anywhere you’d like, depending on which supplies you want to use. Most of us here are painters, but we have some clay for making pottery if that’s something you’re interested in?”

Castiel looked around the room, taking in all of the paintings on the walls, some of them looking like high quality art and some of them looking like a 12 year old drew them. “Um…” He turned around to Meg. “I’m not much of an artist, not with anything,” he said, suddenly feeling very unsure of himself. Was he really supposed to sit here for an hour every day, looking at other people creating beautiful things, while he himself was artistically stunted? This already felt like it would be a very long stay.

“No worries,” she answered, shooting him a big smile. She put down her brush and went to a shelf to pull out a big notebook. “Let’s just start you out with a basic setup of paper and pencils. We have learned over the years that our patients love having a place where they can express themselves, so even if you’re not usually an artist you can make anything you’d like here and there will be no judgement. Even if you just draw stick men,” she said. “Also if you’re lacking ideas we have a book over here that you can look through.”

Not long after Cas sat in the back of the room, blank piece of paper in front of him and a book of words and small drawings beside him. Meg put on some slow music and not long after the conversations dulled and everyone was focused on their art, the peace and quiet creating a very warm atmosphere.

Cas ended up drawing a town of stick men, getting lost in drawing the leaves on the trees. He barely heard Meg announce that their hour was up, until the shuffle of people packing up and shuffling out roused him from his concentrated state.

He shot her a sheepish look as she came over to look at his drawing.

“It’s a work in progress,” he uttered, embarrassed as he hurried to close the book.

“It’s something, though,” she said, a reassuring smile on her face. He almost felt safe under her gaze and not as self-conscious anymore. “It feels nice to have something in your hands that you created, right?”

She laughed, either at the expression on his face or the fact that he couldn’t muster up an answer. “We’ll talk about it later. Go enjoy your free time.”

He ended up taking another walk in the garden, willing time to go by faster before his session with Meg would start.

Her office was easy to find, sporting a wooden sign that simply said “Meg” with a bunch of white flowers on it. He was starting to suspect she was the only artistic employee here and that she had made all of the signs herself.

His suspicions were confirmed when he entered her office and saw the big banner hanging above her couch. It was a big pink lotus flower with the words “Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom” written beneath it in neat letters. 

“So how are you doing?” was the first question that Meg asked him when they sat down in front of each other, her in an armchair and him on the couch. She had a sweater on over her work clothes, which reminded Cas a lot of the scrubs they used at the hospital where he worked. He noticed that she had paint on her hands when she folded them in her lap and the clipboard she had used at their first meeting was nowhere to be seen today.

He already felt a lot safer in this place than he had done just a day ago, even if it was just because he knew that the people working here were supposed to make sure he ate and took care of himself, but Meg had an exuberant aura about her that made him feel confident enough to talk to her. Had it been any of the other counselors he had seen in the hallways he didn’t know if he would be as open as he was with Meg.

They talked a little while about Castiel’s job and how his life had been before, Meg pointedly not asking anything relating to Dean or their relationship, probably because she wanted to build up to it or not scare him to shut down on her.

“Have you used your journal yet?” She asked him halfway into their session.

“Yes, but I didn’t write much,” he admitted, suddenly feeling sheepish again, as though he had done something wrong.

“I didn’t expect so. Most people first start writing after a week or so, but I think it’s because they feel too trapped in their own minds, so they’re unable to get it down on paper. It helps your mental health to simply talk about everyday struggles or just simple tasks that you find interesting. Writing down worries and random thoughts is a good way to process and learn how to feel your emotions.”

“I know what I feel without writing about it,” Castiel mumbled, clasping his hands together in his lap as he stared down at them. He felt like Meg was talking directly to him, as if challenging him to talk about the things that hurt and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Then you’re one of the lucky ones.” There was a beat where no one said anything and Cas didn’t want to look up, afraid of what kind of look she was looking at him with. “Think of this place as a holiday retreat, Castiel, except that this is a place where we help you to get your mind back to a healthy mindset. It sounds like you’ve been pushing down your feelings for a while and that have effects on your physical health too, which in the end will not end up being good for you.” She smiled at him, a little sympathetically, and sighed when he looked away again. “Start by taking small steps, okay? Just write 5 sentences a day and eat at least one helping of food at each meal. You think you can do that?”

Castiel narrowed his eyes at her. She was talking to him like he was a child, and he almost wanted to say “ _ okay, mom _ ” but refrained from it. “Yes, I can do that,” he said instead.

Their session ended on that note and Cas wound up curled into his bed with a book for the rest of the evening.


	3. Chapter 3

Talking with Meg turns out to be a challenge. She changes the subjects so suddenly that sometimes he almost gets a headache from their sessions. He likes it though. She isn’t afraid to ask questions to make him talk and sometimes he feels like he needs to defend his opinions or correct her assumptions about his life, which in turn gets him to open up even more. She’s smart, he’ll give her that.

They ended up swapping out the sketchbook for a new notebook, one where he didn’t have to get personal or write coherent thoughts, but he could just write whatever he wanted. Apparently he had a knack for writing, even if his stories were sometimes just about how the flowers in the garden smelled or an essay about the book he had most recently read. He had a lot of time for those now, which might be what helped him ease into the world of writing.

He had begun reading in the shade of the tree where Meg painted every afternoon, conversation coming easy to them, but this time being her who opened up more.

One afternoon she didn’t have her easel out and decided to walk around with Castiel instead.

“I actually started out as a volunteer,” she admitted. “They’d had inquiries asking for an art teacher and no one here knew how to do anything art related, so I saw an ad online and applied. I had done one year at college and just wanted to earn some money over the summer, but I liked it too much. I dropped my business degree and started studying psychology at the community college instead.”

Castiel gave her a surprised look. He definitely could not see her as a business major, couldn’t even imagine her in a pencil skirt or without paint on her fingers.

“I got the job permanently after I graduated, but I’m not allowed nearly as many patients as some of the other counselors as I’m the one with the least years of experience. Instead we made the art classes obligatory, since there isn’t that much stuff to do here, so now I have three different classes over the course of the day and sessions with four different people, including you.”

She sent him a small smile, which he returned. She bent down to pick up a flower and started picking at it, and Cas felt like he needed to fill the silence with something, but didn’t know what to say. It didn’t feel awkward walking around in silence, so they kept on walking until it was time for lunch and their daily Artistic Class, which he was really starting to enjoy.

“You look a lot better than usually,” was the first thing Meg said to him as he sat down in front of her in her office. “It’s clear to see the progress you’ve made already, you look both healthier and happier with yourself than the first day you arrived here.” She seemed proud of this, but Cas didn’t know if she was proud of the fact that she had helped him get there or if she was simply just happy to see him better. He didn’t know how to read her yet.

He had been there a little over two weeks now and liked it here now. He wasn’t sure if it was even allowed, but he felt like he and Meg had become friends over time, and not just because she had helped him overcome his grief, but because she was simply a nice person to be around.

Meg told him that since he had willingly admitted himself to their facilities and never missed a meal or activity, they were going to let him go home by the end of the week. That also meant that they hadn’t given him a diagnosis, even though Meg had told him that she meant he was dealing with a mild depression. She had given him breathing exercises that she urged him to do every time he felt overwhelmed and also before he went to bed, so that he could let go of all the dark thoughts in his mind and enter a restful sleep.

“I think we should talk about Dean today,” she said, unexpected and suddenly.

Though they had talked about Castiel’s grief, they hadn’t talked that much about Dean. Cas didn’t bring him up himself and it had taken him awhile to get comfortable speaking his name aloud, and Meg had assured him that taking his time was alright. That had been at the start of his stay though.

“I know it hurts to remember, but if you keep putting him away in your mind it will hurt for a really long time. By talking about your memories and allowing yourself to feel the pain you can let go of it again,” she told him today. “At some point they will be fond memories, moments you cherish and can think back on with a smile. Let’s start with how you felt after he died,” she urged.

“When I…” Cas said, unsure of how to start. He licked his lips and looked away from Meg’s encouraging smile. Somehow it felt wrong to speak directly to her, as though these were things she shouldn’t hear, things that were only for Cas to know, but he knew that it was important to speak it aloud. “It felt like I died a little bit too that day. When I got the call I just wanted to give up and… and I wanted to die too. I didn’t want to live without him.”

He could feel a sob forcing its way up his throat and he let it come, no longer feeling ashamed for showing emotions, as this wouldn’t be the first time he cried in front of Meg. He hid his face in his hands and cried. There were no words from Meg, but he felt her gentle nudge as she shoved a small tissue box towards him.

After blowing his nose he tried to control his breathing by concentrating on how his stomach expanded and contracted with his breath, focusing on the breathing exercises Meg had showed him, but his racing heart was making it very difficult for him.

“It’s okay, Castiel,” Meg assured him. “Take your time.”

“I know.” He said with a hiccup. “I know.” A beat went by where no one said anything and Castiel’s heart slowed down and allowed him to catch his breath. “I just miss him.”

“Yeah. You will for a long time, it’s understandable. You loved him.”

They spent the hour talking about the Dean, both how the past with him had been, but also the future that they had been planning together. Cas hadn’t felt so good after a session with Meg as he did that day.

They let him go home after 20 days. 

“Hi, Anna,” he greeted his sister as she met him in the lobby to drive him back home. She was glad to see him and immediately commented on how he looked, noticing that he had gained weight in the time he had been there. She followed him to his door, which he found odd just until the moment he opened the door and was greeted by everyone he loved in his life. His parents were there, Benny, a few of his coworkers, and of course Sam and Mary Winchester had made the trip to see him.

“You’re glowing, honey!” his mom exclaimed as she stepped forward to hug him.

Needless to say Cas teared up when he hugged Mary hello.

“You didn’t have to come all the way out here,” Castiel said, wiping a tear away from Mary’s cheek as well.

“Nonsense, Cas. You’ll always be family, of course we came to support you. I put some leftovers in your freezer that will last you through the month, so you don’t have to think about cooking in the near future if you don’t want to.”

“Thank you. I mean it. Thank you for everything,” he said, hugging her again as the tears kept falling.

Since it was a friday everybody pitched in and Benny went to buy beer just around the corner. It had been a long time since Cas had felt so overwhelmed with love.

The day after he quit his job as a nurse assistant and registered for nursing school instead. In one of their last session Meg had pushed him to make the changes in his life that would make him most happy, and so he had decided to just go for it. Though they were sad to let him go they only said encouraging words that made him feel much better about his choice than he initially had.

It had been a month since he left the mental institution. He had found a new rhythm to his life and had gotten new friends at the nursing school who he hung out with a few times a week. It felt like a new chapter in his life had begun. He still had the pictures of Dean up to remind him of what once was, but he didn’t feel overcome with sadness when he looked at them anymore. He was glad for the time that they had had together, despite the fact that he wished it would have been longer.

He has just gotten home when the doorbell rings. Meg is standing on his doorstep and he can’t mask his surprise as he ask her what she’s doing here.

“I come bearing gifts,” she says, holding up a small pot of something dark. “It’s soup,” she explains. He’s never seen her look so awkward, but of course this time she’s in uncharted territory and not Cas. It feels weird to say, but he’s so glad to see her, as if she has been missing from his life in this whole month where they haven’t seen each other.

“I know you’re not technically sick, but I still thought I would bring you something to make sure you’re eating well. Not that that’s the only reason I came here, I just…” She shakes her head and doesn’t finish her thought, instead just holds out the soup for him to take. “Anyway, this is for you.”

“Thanks,” he says, taking the soup and putting it on the table behind him.

She stands awkwardly in the door and the silence stretches between them.

“Would you like to come in?” Cas asks, not knowing what else to do.

They have a cup of coffee together and Cas has so much fun that he forgets how they know each other. She feels like an old friend, she feels like a high school sweetheart, and a much needed break from the stress of school.

She talks and talks about her life, opening up even more now when she’s allowed and Cas likes to hear her talk. She asks about his life and moves closer to him on the couch as he talks about school.

They can’t stop smiling at each other as she gets ready to leave his apartment again. At the door she turns around to say something, but he reaches out for her face and stuns her into silence, one of the first times he’s been able to do so.

“You had paint on your face,” he says lamely, as he scrapes a chip of blue paint away.

She lifts up her hands, grinning back at him. They’re filled with dots of paint everywhere. “Story of my life.”

Still smiling, she takes a step forward, ready to turn around, when he interrupts her once again. “Would you... “ He clears his voice and tries again. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

This feels new and exciting and he feels like he’s ready or almost there, at least. He doesn’t want to see her walk away and then not know when he’s going to see her again.

“Yeah. Yes, very much,” she answers and she stands up on her toes to give him a peck on the cheek. “I would like that.”

“This friday?” he asks again, making sure that she really wants to do this.

“Yeah. I’ll give you my number.”

After exchanging numbers and setting a time for their date they stand awkwardly in front of each other. She makes the first move as she takes a small step forward and Cas follows suit.

She’s so very, very different from Dean and it’s a relief as well as a disappointment. Her small body fits under his hands and her lips are soft as he kisses her. If it hadn’t been for the love of his friends and family he wouldn’t be here. Life gave him the chance to start over and as he holds Meg close he feels ready to begin again. 


End file.
